The New Internet: Can I Be Myself Anymore?

Algorithms and short-form video have changed the cozy place I used to frequent.

When I started writing on instagram, I did it because I liked it. It was my travel blog during my bike trip to Patagonia. I enjoyed scrolling (before this was a dirty word) on instagram and seeing what my friends were doing, and I wanted them to see my trip as it unfolded without having to navigate to a website they didn’t normally visit. After the trip, I used instagram as a place to express myself. I enjoyed the limited character length. It forced me to say what I wanted to say without rambling.

The social media companies are beholden to one thing: share price. And that share price demands growth. And growth demands not only new users, but that users stay on the platform. That way they can see more ads and buy more things. What started as cute and free audience capture has evolved into brain-melting audience captivity.

Now, the self expression I remember feels rare. It seems that virality is the only goal, and viral videos are the only product to consume. Viral recipes. Viral pranks. Viral political madness. Viral AI slop. As you scroll, you wonder: where have my friends’ posts gone? Where are the small creators I followed? Why must everything be video?

As social media has became ubiquitous and dominant, a lot of us use it as part of our livelihood. If you’re a realtor, instagram and TikTok matter. If you start a small business, instagram is now treated as your website. If you’re an artist, it’s 90% of your marketing. And we don’t know exactly what the algorithm wants, so it leaves us exasperated. Have you seen how people post the same video slightly tweaked fifty times? On TikTok, you go to someone’s account and they’ve re-done the same intro over and over and over and it’s madness to scroll through it. They’re fishing to catch the algorithm.

I think there are two ways to go from here:

If you’re promoting a business, what else can you do? This is how we market now. Social media just became the whole internet. Try to have fun with it as best you can. Treat it like the job it is. It’s annoying to promote something, but it was annoying in the nineties too.

If you’re on social media to be a person and share what you like and do and are into, do that with abandon. Absolutely disregard numbers and virality. Care only that your posts represent the authentic you. Because what is the alternative? Go viral doing something that annoys you? And then be expected to do that forever?

Being yourself, you might accidentally hit the zeitgeist and go viral for being yourself. For making the art you want to make. For telling your true story. And then, if that happens, at least you know how to keep doing that. It’s actually who you are.

For me, I am a memoirist, and so my business is myself. This is tricky. I need to be myself but my livelihood depends on selling stories of that self. There’s only one way I know how to do this: I live cheaply, debt free, and with relatively simple tastes. I can afford to miss viral attention for those that find me organically. Those that pick up one of my books and then search my name. That read a post I write that was sent to them by a friend.

A tea shop owner told me that there is a Japanese tradition where if you start a business, you are given a crane and a turtle. Made from paper or reeds or anything. You hang them on the wall for good luck. It’s meant to say ‘may your business fly as high as the crane, but ascend as slow as the turtle.’ Too much quick success and things fall apart. A steady pace gives stamina for a long career.

I like this. And I apply that to myself. Imperfectly, and with bouts of grandiosity and fever and laziness and self-hatred, but sincerely. I want to create things for a long time, and never falsify myself for money.

I’ll make funny videos when I feel like it. I’ll write about friends and flowers even if that isn’t what’s trending right now. I’ll wear a wide-brimmed hat until it circles back around, and stay shaded all the while.

Love y’all,

Jedidiah.

Writing prompt for this week: Describe your perfect day, from waking up to sleep. Would you want your whole life to be like that day? Or is it made perfect in its scarcity?