The Good in Me is the Evil in You

Thomas Merton’s writings from the 1960s are right for 2025.

“Everything is a remix.” “There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.” I don’t mean to imply that new things don’t happen… but… yes I do. New things don’t happen. Other than the Big Bang, or the first single-celled organism, truly new things don’t happen. World War 2 was new though, right? Sure, the scale was unprecedented, but not the cruelty. Not the tribalism. Not the patriotism. Not the egotism. Not the racism. Not the murder. Not the brilliant minds put to the service of destruction.

So, scale changes, but not the spirit behind it. Not the instincts and impulses that cause it. And understanding that spirit is the only hope of surviving the fire that always comes.

Like I said last week, I’ve been re-reading Thomas Merton’s journals from the 1960s, ‘Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander.’ He was an American Trappist monk whose writings on mysticism, eastern philosophy, politics, and peace made him world-famous. Living at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Kentucky during the absolutely tempestuous 1960s, Merton wrote about a world on fire, from the unique vantage point of a contemplative monk.

I’ll let him speak for himself. But you’ll see why these passages stood out. If you come at the world believing the Woke-mind virus has poisoned the people, or the brain rot of MAGA Trump-suckling has jeopardized our very chance at a future… Merton is talking to you.

“We are living under a tyranny of untruth which confirms itself in power and establishes a more and more total control over men in proportion as they convince themselves they are resisting error. …The basic falsehood is the lie that we are totally dedicated to truth, and that we can remain dedicated to truth in a manner that is at the same time honest and exclusive: that we have the monopoly of all truth, just as our adversary of the moment has the monopoly of all error.

“We then convince ourselves that we cannot preserve our purity of vision and our inner sincerity if we enter into dialogue with the enemy, for he will corrupt us with his error. We believe, finally, that truth cannot be preserved except by the destruction of the enemy - for, since we have identified him with error, to destroy him is to destroy error. The adversary, of course, has exactly the same thoughts about us and exactly the same basic policy by which he defends the "truth." He has identified us with dishonesty, insincerity, and untruth. He believes that, if we are destroyed, nothing will be left but truth.” - Thomas Merton, 1962.

Merton doesn’t stop at diagnosis. He offers a tool for change.

“In the long run, no one can show another the error that is within him, unless the other is convinced that his critic first sees and loves the good that is within him. So while we are perfectly willing to tell our adversary he is wrong, we will never be able to do so effectively until we can ourselves appreciate where he is right. And we can never accept his judgment on our errors until he gives evidence that he really appreciates our own peculiar truth. Love, love only, love of our deluded fellow man as he actually is, in his delusion and in his sin: this alone can open the door to truth. As long as we do not have this love, as long as this love is not active and effective in our lives (for words and good wishes will never suffice) we have no real access to the truth. At least not to moral truth.” - Thomas Merton, 1962.

I keep wondering if the obsessive consumption of global catastrophe makes me a better citizen, or a worse one. Here’s one minuscule example: I read that the President sent an executive order to discontinue the minting of pennies. I haven’t used a penny in a decade ..or more? This sounds like a good idea. Finally, a good idea. Lots of countries have discontinued their smallest coins because of inflation and waste. To make and distribute a penny costs over 3 cents. ‘Last year, the Mint issued over three billion pennies ..at a loss of about $85.3 million.’ – NYTimes. Ending that sounds great. But then, what if there are the unintended consequences? “The elimination of the penny will increase the demand for nickels, which are even more expensive to produce and distribute at 13.78 cents per coin… Penny proponents have also argued that eliminating the coin would effectively impose a one-cent sales tax on consumers, because prices ending in 99 cents are so common.’ – NYTimes.

Oh God, ok so, is it good or bad? Even this simple and seemingly obvious choice could bite us in the ass. Or be great. All widespread change is painful for those whose lives are built around the status quo.

I think I’m still pro-penny-death. Other things, I’m certain of. I think shuttering USAID is a horrible idea, mostly because I’ve worked in the humanitarian lane and I know that lives will be damaged and lost. I know specific lives they will hurt.

But most things I know almost nothing about. And somehow I go through my morning with vitriolic opinions on 98 things before my second coffee.

I am changing. Experiments in health. I am reading the news once a day. For thirty minutes in the morning. And then I am working in the garden of my life. I am trying to grow healthy and broad sun-soaked leaves, instead of salting my soil with things I cannot change. I am listening where I can. Thinking about what is just and what is not. But there is so much I do not know because it is not near me or known to me. I’m learning not to pretend that I know.

Which leads me to this quote by Merton, written in 1961.

“Why can we not be content with an ordinary, secret, personal happiness that does not need to be explained or justified? We feel guilty if we are not happy in some publicly approved way, if we do not imagine that we are meeting some standard of happiness that is recognized by all. God gives us the gift and the capacity to make our own happiness out of our own situation. And it is not hard to be happy, simply by accepting what is within reach, and making of it what we can. But if we do this, and I find that I do, we still wonder if there is not something wrong. Are we getting something that others cannot have (a private and personal happiness!)? Obviously my happiness is not somebody else's- until I share it. And in sharing it I am happier than I was before.

Or we ask if we are failing to meet a general level which alone is authentic. (For instance, can a happiness that is absolutely free, costs nothing at all, has never been advertised in Life [magazine], be genuine? It turns out to be the only kind that is genuine!)” - Thomas Merton, journals from ‘Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander’ 1961.

I may be marching in the streets tomorrow. We’ll see. But I am inhaling now. Filling my lungs, in case I want to scream.

- Jedidiah.

(The difference between my free and paid substacks will be this: the weekly posts for my supporters will be more about surviving this political moment with your sanity. My thoughts on current events, politics, and life in the modern moment.

My occasional free posts will be thoughts on culture and philosophy. Supporters will be able to comment and discuss on all, and I’ll discuss right back. If you disagree with me, or want to add clarity or another perspective, please do! I want to have real conversations with the people who are most involved. But don’t worry, free will be much of what I’ve always done on instagram. Just in a saner location. Make sense? Ok love you.)

Oh, and here is some news: I want y’all to come to one of my retreats this year.

I’m doing two. July or October.

An intimate once-in-a-lifetime Alaskan adventure (July 2-7). This one is major because it’s at the end of the world doing end-of-the-world things. I led it last year and it was insaaaaaane. Top tier life experience.

And the other one is my digital detox writing weekend in the fall colors of North Carolina (Oct 17-19). I’ve done this one twice before and it is approachable, fun, easy, and jump-starts your creative work. You’ll also leave with new forever friends.

Well, that happens at both.

For both, it’s totally fine if you’ve never written a thing, if you’re introverted, if you’re not the adventuring type… the only requirements are that you’re willing to attempt to write down a few thoughts, invest in yourself, and be a positive person for a few days.

Photos below to set the scene. All the info and contacts for questions are in the hyperlinks :) Please come and make memories with me!

Ok tata.